


Shadows On Us All

by atreacherousoldwitch



Series: Won't you please come get your baby? [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen, General, Love, it's a bit less difficult being twelve now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atreacherousoldwitch/pseuds/atreacherousoldwitch
Summary: Harry knows. Immediately.It’s a combination of knowing the syllabus that Hogwarts teaches in the first term of second year, and the way that Lily-Lu won’t quite meet his eye when he picks them up from the station.Or: Hogwarts teaches a module on the second wizarding war. Lily-Lu doesn't know how to feel about the role her family played in it.
Relationships: Background Harry/Ginny - Relationship, Harry Potter & Lily Luna Potter
Series: Won't you please come get your baby? [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722256
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Shadows On Us All

**Author's Note:**

> AN - A little drabble just before Christmas. I love writing the next gen characters now. For years I wasn’t really interested in them, but now I’m a bit older (the last HP film came out 9 years ago!!) I find them super interesting. 
> 
> This is just a little moment between Harry and Lily-Lu.
> 
> Enjoy!

————

Harry knows. Immediately.

It’s a combination of knowing the syllabus that Hogwarts teaches in the first term of second year, and the way that Lily-Lu won’t quite meet his eye when he picks them up from the station.

They’re all home for the Christmas.

After hugs, kisses,getting used to the the normal hustle and bustle of having the three of them home, unpacking trunks, and chasing Albus away from the kitchen draws (‘get out’ Ginny shouts across the house, ‘I’m cooking dinner in a minute!’ and Albus cackles as he leaps up the stairs two at a time), Harry catches Lily-Lu’s eye. Though she smiles, and squeezes up her face in a teasing way, there’s something behind her eyes, and Harry just knows.

————

He leaves it for a couple of days.

Harry’s kids don’t appreciate being prodded and questioned when they’re not ready. He’s learned this the hard way, via arguments with James, and stroppy conversations with Albus.

He trusts that Lily-Lu will come and speak to him when she’s ready.

————

Harry’s right.

It’s a couple of days before Christmas, and it’s getting late in the evening. Everyone’s fed and watered. Ginny’s popped around to Molly’s, to help Ron deal with some kind of Turkey emergency (Harry had made himself scarce so wasn’t completely clear on the details) and he can hear the boys knocking around in Jim’s room down the hall. It sounds like they’re playing something, and the intermittent bangs don’t really worry Harry.

Harry’s stretched out on his and Ginny’s bed, above the covers, flipping through some case files he’d sworn to Hermione that he’d already read and trying to decide whether he should expend the energy in actually reading them, when Lily-Lu pokes her head around the open door, and taps her knuckles on it to get his attention.

‘Hi baby,’ he says with a smile, and thinks _here we go._

Lily-Lu smiles back. She’s already washed and dressed for bed, the harpies logo shining from the front her shirt, and her damp hair pulled into mostly neat braids.

‘Can I come in?’

Harry nods, and waves her forward, and she hops onto the bed next to him, and settles back against the pillows that Harry props up against the headboard.

‘Whatcha doing?’

Harry sighs, and puts the case files on the bedside table.

‘I told auntie Hermione that I read these files, but I haven’t. We have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I’m trying to decide if I should actually read them or if I can wing it.’

Lily-Lu laughs.

‘Auntie Hermione’ll know.’

Harry nods. ‘She always knows,’ he says with a grim expression, and Lily-Lu laughs again, and wriggles down until she’s half lying back agains the headboard. ‘But never mind Hermione. What’s up with you?’

It’s a gentle question. Lily-Lu looks down, and picks at the end of one of her plaits.

Harry waits. There’s no rush.

Eventually, Lily-Lu looks back up, and says, ‘we’ve been studying the second war with -‘ she stumbles, ‘the second war in history this term. I just - I don’t know. It’s weird hearing all about it when it’s all about you.’

She glances away, and screws up her face in a way that makes Harry think that wasn’t entirely what she wanted to say, but it’s enough to kick start the conversation Harry was expecting.

‘I bet it’s really strange. Jim and Al found it weird too.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Hogwarts does an intro module on the second war in second year. They go more in depth when you start your OWLS. There’s a bit on it in the exams, I think.’

‘It’s just difficult,’ Lily-Lu says, ‘because I know - _obviously_ I know what happened, and I know what you and Uncle Ron and Auntie Hermione and everyone did, and I know that everything was awful. But there’s something about hearing it like it’s history that’s just -I don’t think I knew that it was so bad.’

Harry reaches out and tucks a few fly away hairs behind her ear. The sentiment is almost identical to the ones expressed to him five years ago by James, and three years ago by Albus. That they’d known the facts, and that they’d known the scars it had left on their family - the death of Fred being the most obvious, others that were less so - that they’d even known the role that Harry had played in all of this. They knew because Harry had wanted them to hear it from him, so it was a story he and Ginny had introduced when they were little, and had added to over the years.

But they hadn’t _known._

And how could they?

Everything that Harry had fought for, was so that they wouldn’t know.

‘I think there’s a difference, between understanding your family’s history, because that’s what this is to us right? And then understanding the impact on the whole country, on the wizarding community, and realising that the two are intrinsically linked. Understanding that they’re the same. And that what you hear in school, as history, where you’re taught it in a way that is detached and separate, actually has real life effects on your family. Right? It’s a difficult thing to grapple with.’

Lily-Lu nods.

‘And honestly? The version they teach you, and the version you hear from me, from mum, from Nanna, they’re all different. Because everyone can only speak to their own experiences. So, somehow, you have to pull all that together too. Am I getting close?’

Lily-Lu grins, a bit sheepish.

‘You’ve had this conversation before,’ she realises.

‘I’ve had this conversation before,’ he confirms. ‘And that’s ok. That’s good, because it’s a conversation that we need to have.’

‘I don’t like the way they talk about you,’ and Harry blinks because that’s a new one on him.

‘The way they talk about me?’

‘The chosen one,’ Lily-Lu says, ‘and like it was expected. You know? That you did what you did because only you could. That’s not right. You did what you had to do, but just because you had to do it, doesn’t mean it was easy. I know that it was - I can’t even say how bad it was - and they talk like you’re some _saviour,_ and I don’t like it because you’re not, and not in a bad way! But because you’re - you know - this.’

And she gestures to him, still mostly lying on the bed in his pyjamas.

‘Does that make any sense?’

Harry takes a moment to unpick the tangle of thoughts and points.

‘That’s the problem,’ he says slowly, thinking, ‘with being in the public eye. There’s always going to be a difference between the people who actually know me, and the people who only know me as ‘the-boy-who-lived’ or ‘the chosen one’. And you’re going to see that even more, because you know me better than most. How I really am. So that difference is even more pronounced.’

‘I guess. It’s just -‘

She sighs, and sits up and crosses her legs, resting one elbow on her knee and resting her cheek on her palm.

‘It’s not fair,’ she mutters, and it sounds so young and childish that Harry smiles. That childish belief that life should be fair, is one of Harry’s favourite things. He enjoyed it in his children, the expectation that this should be right, and good, _and fair._

 _‘_ What’s not fair sweetheart?’

‘That you had to do all that. When you were so young. The same age as Jim! It’s not right.’

‘No, it wasn’t right. And it wasn’t fair. It was one of the worst moments of my life, the final battle. And I can’t underplay the impact that it had on all of us. But it was a long time ago. We’ve healed,and moved on, and now they teach it in schools. And that’s a good thing, because it’s only by learning and remembering that we stop things like that happening again. By learning the lessons. And you know what?’

‘What?’

‘I’m here. And I’m happy, happier than I thought I would be. With a family that I love, and a life that I love. So, no, it wasn’t fair what happened to me, but I’m here, and I wouldn’t give that up for anything.’

Lily-Lu smiles at that.

‘Did you - did you know? At the end when you went to the forrest?’

Harry’s not surprised at this question. Both James and Albus had asked it too. He tells her what he told them:

‘Did I know that I was going to die? Yes. I thought my life was over then. Did I know that I was going to wake up? That the curse would only kill the part of him in me? No. I didn’t know that.’

‘I’m sorry, that that happened to you.’

Harry smiles, and lifts her chin so Lily-Lu looks in his face.

‘Thank you. I would do it again, you know.’

‘What?’

Harry nods, and keeps her eyes, so she can see how sincere he is.

‘I would do it all again, if it meant that I ended up right here.’

Harry’s winded, suddenly, when Lily- Lu follows his hand and leans into him with an ‘oof’.

He has a mouthful of messy hair, and his glasses are digging into his face awkwardly, Lily-Lu plants her nose against his collar bone - a habit she’s had since she was little, although she does it more with Ginny than with him - and snuggles her face in, hands clutching at the front of his shirt.

Harry sits up as best he can, wraps his arms around her, and hoists her more or less into his lap, trying carefully to avoid her elbows and knees jabbing him in any delicate areas. She realises what he’s doing, if the little giggle is any indication.

‘Ok?’ He whispers, and she nods.

‘Yeah.’

‘Anyway,’ Harry says with a small smile, ‘just think, you’re guaranteed to get 100% on this module anyway.’

She pulls back a bit to look at his face.

‘How come?’

‘Because you learnt it from me, yeah? So you know it’s all right. And even if it’s not I’ll back you up.’

‘Is that how Jim did so well on his OWL?’

Harry blinks.

‘Uh, no. He actually worked really hard for that.’

‘Really?’ With her narrowed eyes, Harry can see she doesn’t believe him.

Hastily, he says, ’anyway. You ok?’

Lily-Lu sits back and watches him for a moment. Harry’s struck by that ageless quality she sometimes has - intellectually he knows she’s twelve, but sometimes -

Sometimes he looks in her eyes, and thinks _you’ve been here before_.

He feels the same about Albus sometimes.

(But never James, for some reason. Harry’s oldest son is so goofy and lighthearted that he can only be a new soul, if there’s such a thing.)

But then she smiles, and leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

‘Yep. I’m ok.’

And then the moment is gone. A huge bang echoes from down the corridor, shaking the house.

Harry sighs, and when he heads down the corridor to find James and Albus covered in some sort of soot, Lily-Lu follows close on his heels.

He helps clean up the mess, and his children hover, teasing and laughing. Harry swings an arm around James’ shoulders, and draws Albus and Lily-Lu in too.

He’s grateful, Harry realises.

Down to his bones, he’s so _grateful_.

—————

END.

—————


End file.
